The Asshat in the YMCA parking lot

You know, people are frequently asshats. But this morning I encountered a super-asshat maneuver, and the shitsack who did it is lucky that I had my kids in the minivan, and was thus prevented from getting out of the vehicle and chewing a strip off her moronic, self-absorbed backside.

My YMCA has an upper-back parking lot, connected by a sloping ramp on the far left. On the far right, on the other end of the lot from the ramp, is the kindergarten class. I park near the kindergarten class, drop Lilo off, then walk Stitch down to her pre-school in the main building. It’s usually crowded, but the kindergarten class is pretty far from the door of the YMCA proper, so it’s not too terrible to try to park. Most days. But today an asshat was loose in the parking lot. She went up the slope to the upper back parking lot, and I was behind her, at a reasonable distance from her bumper, since tailgating is stupid and rude and I’m not stupid and rude. About halfway down the lot, this twit saw it was crowded, and realized she would have to park at the far right end of the lot near the kindergarten. She didn’t want that! It was too far from the door! My God, imagine having to WALK so far to the door of a place you have come to exercise! She wanted to hunt for a closer space!

There is a turn-around spot by the kindergarten. Instead of driving down there and turning around, she decided to back the fokk up. That’s right. She backed up and bullied (I honestly thought the idiot would have hit my van; she certainly wasn’t going to give up her “right” to back up!) a line of vehicles backwards from the middle of the lot all the way down the ramp. We are talking at least 20 yards here, people. Not only that, but she blocked the folks trying to get out of the lot from the right because she backed up in the middle of the lot, not in her “lane”. Everyone had to get out of her way, because if we took a stand she might have held us there forever in a waiting game (after all, she was the kind of person who was backing up an whole fleet of cars) and a lot of us were there to deliver kids to a class which was getting ready to start.

The selfish, asinine, entitled, rudeness of this behavior has left me fuming and almost stunned by the audacity. If my impressionable daughters had not been with me, much yelling would have occurred.

I hate it when I must deal with vexation and irksomeness, ya’ll. Thank goodness I am such a calm, mild-mannered, and easy-going personality.

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About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
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29 Responses to The Asshat in the YMCA parking lot

  1. Ginger says:

    I frequently ask my husband how I’m supposed to explain to my children why so many stupid people exist on this planet. Maybe I’ll just say, “fokkk, they just do.” ;)

    Way to rise above. That’s such a hard lesson to teach – rising above the stupid behavior. Pat yourself on your back for setting a good example for your girls.

  2. Bethany says:

    You’re nicer than me. In that situation I have been known to just sit there, not backing up, listening to music, giving a polite honk if the person gets too close with their backing up car. This may be why I’m too immature to have kids…

    • Sierra (Bonny Betty) says:

      I do the same thing as you, Bethany. I don’t think it’s immature, either. It’s like when you don’t give in to a child’s tantrum, you just disregard it so they learn it won’t get them anything. At least, in theory. If they’re grown ups who still haven’t learned it, it may not work.

      • Bethany says:

        That’s my theory on it personally although my boyfriend and I have “almost arguments” over it because he’s the person who lets the guy who drives up the shoulder back into traffic or would nicely back up while I’m sitting there going “dude, don’t let them do that!!!” I think it’s why he’s approved to be a deacon and no church would ever approve me to become any sort of a minister. Except possibly to animals?

  3. I wonder if it would have been quicker to offer to turn her car around for her? Although she was making a whole fleet of cars back up so I’m sure her way was the “right” way.

  4. toni says:

    Now see, I would have assumed that Ms. Asshat was lost and confused and didn’t see the turnaround, no matter how clearly marked, and I would have gotten out of my car, turned off the ignition, taken my keys, held them in my hands so she could see that bullying wasn’t going to work because the car wasn’t going to magically back itself up and I would have smiled that sweet southern “over my dead boy, bless your heart” smile that is better than a bazooka and then I would have said, “I am so sorry you can’t back up here–I know it must be confusing, but there are 20 of us behind you. If you’ll go on down there, you’ll see a turn around you can use.” And then I would have said, “I’ll just wait here so no one can try to pass and block you–I’ll keep my car parked to give you time to make that turn. There ya go.”

    Stupid asshattery is a given. I think of outmaneuvering them as a game. :D

  5. sharon says:

    Last week, I drove to the pharmacy for medicine. The parking lot is very small and I was surprised to see a bright red Hummer parked sideways and taking up 4 places! I parked in the remaining space behind and another woman took the only remaining space in front of the gigantic car. I was walking into the store when the man inside the Hummer called out” One of you girls will need to move so I can leave when my wife comes out of the store.” I turned and walked back to him and said I was not moving and neither was the other lady. We were parked correctly and could not understand how he could be so dumb as to not see the correct way to park. He then asked me why I was angry!! I told him that I did not appreciate meeting fools at such an early hour. He yelled at us as we walked into the store. Fools are everywhere!

  6. Betty Fokker says:

    Ladies, if I didn’t have three little girls in the car, and it wasn’t picture day and thus important to get them to class on time, I would have laid on the horn until her ears bled. I would have made it abundantly clear that I would move only when God Herself descended from the clouds and told me it was Be Nice to Asshats Day in heaven. I am pretty sure, considering the faces and gestures being made at her by other moms, that I would not have been alone. Sadly, I was constrained by time and impressionable audience. That was the most vexing part. Hulk want SMASH; Hulk must be nice. Poop.

  7. Hm. I must not be a very good mom because I *do* respond immediately and proportionately (occasionally disproportionately) to asshats such as this. I would have leaned on the horn and taught my kids new words and combinations they would have been sworn to never repeat in front of grandma.

    But that’s just me. ;)

    • Betty Fokker says:

      I’ve been trying to “hold back” ever since someone cut me off in traffic and my 5 year old yelled, “what a frickin’ idiot!” I realized I was teaching them … creative … ways to deal with those who were annoying. But I did call the back-up twerp a ‘stupid, selfish, jerkface’ where they could hear, so I’m lacking the perfect gene. ;-) It was mostly the time factor. I couldn’t play the waiting game like I wanted to. Meep.

      • LOL! I had Heckle & Jeckle with me at Target the other day and I was tired and crabby (quell surprise) and couldn’t find the fokking lamps (our Target is under constant and irritating remodel) and when we finally stumbled down the right aisle, Jeckle, my 4 yo, said loudly, “Mama! We found the fokking lamps!” Of course, we were both using the more traditional f-word and I got some glares while simultaneously trying to shush my boy and not lol.

      • Betty Fokker says:

        Yes, my Fokkerettes are learning some interesting language form their mommy too ;-)

  8. You know, there’s just no other way to say this: Stupid people suck. Amen.

  9. Merry says:

    Hmph. I think it’s just one person who’s made it their mission to drive the rest of us mad, mad I tell you.

    When I met Asshat, he was driving a minivan, and I do believe he had his kids spawn in the car. I was the only person parked in the entire empty parking lot at the library — I’d parked there for the length of time it takes to walk 20 feet and drop a book in the return slot — and he still thought it would be a good idea to pull up behind my car, double-parked, so he could get out and drop his book off while I waited.

    Karma’s going to be a bitch for this guy. Maybe I’ll be there to watch.

  10. London betty says:

    I try never to argue with asshat drivers – when my kids were little we were pulling into a petrol station when a small car decided they had to pull in too. We were ahead of them which greatly insensed said driver and they tried to force us out of the way. When we had parked the small angry woman asshat came up to me and started shouting abuse. Ugly awful abuse which my kids heard, then she socked me in the jaw. I was beyond shocked and so were they Then she drove off like a bat out of hell – perhaps because she feared someone would call the police. She could have stayed and filled up with petrol. Everyone looked the other way. Twenty years on I still won’t use that petrol station.

    • Betty Fokker says:

      Jesus wept! I cannot believe she hit you!! What a vile person! It saddens, but does not surprise me, that everyone looked the other way. I admit, I would avoid that petrol station too.

  11. Lora says:

    Oh I hate when people go rabid in parking lots like they do NOT want to walk one measly step further than necessary even if it means burning fossil fuels and tempers for another five loops around the same parking lot. grrrrr.

    I bow before Toni’s method listed above.

    I would have backed up and fumed. And used my naughty words. Lots of them. Creatively.

    That creep needs to make her almighty entitled pass at the lot when it ISN”T kindergarten arrival time.

  12. vibes01 says:

    i have been known to ‘confront’ people who think bullying while in a car = safe for them.

    i may be 5ft3 and look really young (which ive found the way i look normally makes them think they can do that and get away with it), but i can assure you; man, woman, old, young…you try that shit with me and i will re arrange your psychology.

    this small blonde harbours a fury within. dont wake it.

  13. grandma K says:

    honeyman and I were in a parking lot – had to park “close to the line” because the guy next to us couldn’t make up his mind which space he wanted – so we’re in the store and the guy next to us leaves – somebody else came in, parked on the other side of us and left us a note “you park like an asshole”. I wanted to write back, but honeyman just laughed it off. . .

    • Betty Fokker says:

      You were, of course, undeserving of such a note … but I now want to carry them around to put on windshields of asshats. Maybe a calligraphy script note saying “You drive like an asshat. Jesus loves you, but the rest of us can’t stand you.” But I’d end it with a big smiley face just to confuse things.

  14. tara says:

    You are a good woman for not getting out of your car, to, as you so eloquently put it, chew a strip off her ass. Anyone who blocks traffic because they have made an error (usually easily corrected by a u-turn farther up the road) makes me want to just crash into them. Maybe you could design some nasty bumper stickers, have them printed up at Cafe Press. My Mom was Voted Asshat of the Month by Betty! And slap that shit on her car.

  15. Sierra (Bonny Betty) says:

    I know someone who gets scarily polite and calm when she’s pissed. I can picture her in this situation, calmly saying through her smile, “No, dear, I’m not going anywhere. You can do what everyone else has to.” And then she’d wave sweetly through the windshield, with murder in her eyes the whole time.

    I had someone start backing up in the parking lot at school the yesterday. Karma for saying I’d be calm, maybe? They wanted a spot that was opening up, and decided to back up instead of looping around. I honked my horn at them and didn’t budge, shaking my head the whole time. I’m sorry, but I was trying to leave to go home. I had a headache. Fokk them. They gave up, and I’m sure they flipped me off in the meantime. Oh well.

  16. Tasha Tinsley says:

    I would have very sweetly gotten out of my car and told her… “oh gee, I am having transmission problems and can’t put it in reverse”. LOL

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