Just how fragile are their husbands’ egos??

The Duggars work my nerves a bit. I , personally, don’t see how 19 kids can possibly get enough parental attention and don’t think that everyone having that many kids is ecological sustainable. Sure, the Bible tells us to go forth and multiply … but we did that. Seriously, there are 7 BILLION humans. We are good to go now.

There is also their bullshit that women are inherently, by orders of God Almighty, lesser than men and meant to subordinate to their husbands and fathers.

Um, no.

Here is an example of some of the valuable advice Michelle Duggar gives as the secret to a happy marriage.

1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man: This one states that a woman destroys her husband’s manliness by “being financially independent; Love is killed by self-sufficiency.”
2. A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities
3. A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty: Your hairstyle, for example, can show “obedience vs. defiance” and “personal discipline vs. inconsistency,” among many other things.
4. A husband needs a wife who can lovingly appeal to him when he is going beyond his limitations and wisely respond to those who question his ideas, goals, or motives: “Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; ask forgiveness whenever you do.”
5. A husband needs quality time to be alone with himself and with the Lord.
6. A husband needs a wife who is grateful for all he has done and all he is doing: “Expect nothing and be genuinely grateful for each little evidence of your husband’s love.”
7. A husband needs a wife who will be praised by other people for her character and her good works.

All I can think is “Jesus, how delicate is the masculinity of far-right ultra-religious men? Seriously, they can be unmanned by their wife having a job, or an opinion, or who says no to sex when she doesn’t WANT to have sex, or has ‘defiant’ hair (WTF is defiant hair?) , or a wife who doesn’t dress up to please him every single damn day, or expects him to be a good husband instead of humbly hoping that he is one (but puts up with his shit even if he’s an asshat).

Sweet Babou is an excellent husband and I don’t do any of that crap. I just love him, as my life partner. I mean, I try to be a good person, but if I do something that qualifies as  “good works” then I am doing it because it is the right thing to do, not to make the other guys think Sweet Babou has trained me well. I expect him to be a good husband, just like I expect myself to be a good wife. He supports my equality, and doesn’t feel ‘threatened’ if I have defiant hair or a freaking opinion that differs from his. His love is not such a shallow puddle that it will dry up because I don’t do the full hair and makeup routine.

I can only suppose that his manliness is much more manly than that of Jim Duggar’s, since he doesn’t need me to be a follower in order for him in order to feel like he is a man.

But apparently my views in this matter just mark me out as  Godless and evil bitch, according to “Christians” who know the true meaning of marriage. Like, for instance, this comment on the original article about Michelle Duggar’s wifely admonishments:

ninekids9 says:

February 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Well, you can always tell the difference betweeen someone who is a Christian and someone who isn’t. The most critical are those who completely misunderstand Micehelle’s message because you wouldn’t know if you have never been to a class where it is expained to you. Did it say anywhwere in her statement that she was to be a doormat for her husband? I think not.. do you want to empower your husband with confidence? Do you want to look your best for him? Do you want him to know how important he is to you? That you care that he is providing for you and your children? I too am a provider.. we as women, mother’s and wife’s are. But I actually bring money in at home and on the side and still feel as she does. We are equally important!!!! We are a team!! He’s the man of the house, why not treat him as such? Half (or more)of marriages these days fall apart because we are tearing the men down so far they have no where else to go but out the front door. I will tell you this, if you don’t love your husband, there is someone else out there that gladly will… Would you rather try success as Kate and her 8? She was a horrible wife and it reflected in her show..I cringed everytime I saw her speak to Jon and look where they are now. Bless Michelle, their marriage and I will tell you what, I LOVE… LOVE my husband and if you do to then there is nothing wrong with you uplifting him, loving him and looking your best for him, AMEN!

Yeah, ninekids9, you seem to have a problem grasping the difference between loving your husband and wanting him to be happy versus treating him the way Michelle recommends you treat the “man of the house”.  You see, there is nothing that says “we are equal” and “we are a team” in acknowledging your husband as your “leader” and “asking forgiveness for your resistant spirit”. You are confusing being nice to the man you love with the kind of meek subservience Duggar is CLEARLY advocating. Or do you really “expect nothing” from your “leader” and think that makes you equals? Moreover, your insistence that women who don’t call their husband their “leader” and think that it is demeaning for women to have a submissive spirit are not possibly Christians is garbage. I am a hard core feminist and I teach Sunday School. So bite me, you self-righteous twit. (Not a Christian sentiment, but unlike ninekids9, who is the arbiter of all things Christ, my religious practices fall short of perfection.) As for Kate and Jon, if my husband was a cheating slacker I would probably be “mean” to him and divorce him too. 

I really love my Sweet Babou. I try to be good to him and make him happy. But he doesn’t need me to be meek or docile in order to be happy, because he is man enough to want an equal for his wife. A man who needs to be my “leader” in order to feel manly is simply not someone I could respect enough to marry.

Michelle Duggar must have lower standards.