I’ve always hated the stereotype of Southerners as slack jawed, shit-kicking, knuckle-dragging twatwaffles. I’ve lived in the south for big chunks of my childhood, and we are as varied a group as may be found in any other state. Sure, we have some racist dipshits and asshats … but so does New York and Connecticut. I admit that you can marry your first cousin there … but you can also marry your first cousin in New york and Connecticut. Thus, North Carolina’s brilliant decision to ratify an amendment to their state constitution making gay marriage absolutely forbidden was irksome.
First, it makes them, and by extension the south, look like a bunch of homophobic fools. Yeah, the south needs more ways to look bad to the rest of the country. Thanks. What makes the amendment even stupider is that it was also redundant as all hell. Same sex marriage was already illegal in that state. So this was just a bunch of grandstanding to prove just how wretchedly prejudiced it was possible for conservative voters to be. We already believe that the far-right is composed of horrible people who want to restrict civil rights. You can stop proving it now, okay?
(Frankly, I think a lot of the anti-gay and anti-woman legislation popping up in red states is the far right testing the waters to see if they can use bigotry and fear to coax people into voting against their economic self-interest, and give more power to the patriarchal plutocracy that’s screwing them over, just because they think Jesus wants them to oppress gays and prevent reproductive choice.)
Amendment One is a good example of not understanding how badly you are shooting yourself in the foot by following along with the politics of exclusion. This amendment didn’t just shaft same-sex couples. Nope. This amendment also shits on the rights and protections afforded to heterosexuals in any domestic partnership. Think of it this way: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell’s almost 30 year long relationship has less validity that Kim Kardashian’s 72 day fiasco with Kris Humphries. Heterosexual marriage is ALWAYS so awesome and sanctified!
Moreover, the last time North Carolina got all testy about marriage was it’s amendment prohibiting the unions of interracial couples. That’s something I am sure NC looks back on with real pride. There is nothing like historical evidence that your state was infested with a bunch of Klan numbnuts. And how well did that work at preventing civil rights from happening?
Honestly, I cannot believe that people in that state can legally be fans of Duke, the skankiest basketball team ever since the dawn of time, but can’t get married unless there is contrasting wedding tackle. That just seems wrong.
There are a couple of pieces of good news coming out of this mess, though. For one thing, the voting pattern makes the connection between prejudice and ignorance crystal clear. The more likely people were to have a bachelor’s degree, the more likely they were to have voted against the bullshit amendment one:
Well, this certainly explains why the GOP has launched a not-so-covert assault on higher education. Stupid higher education, indoctrinating students with facts that discredit GOP dogma and the philosophies of civil liberties!
Anther good thing is that President Obama openly stated he supported gay marriage. Now, a ton of garbage has fallen on his head. Both from crazy people on the right, lead by Faux news:
… and also from the left, where it is being mocked as a cynical campaign ploy with no real punch. Apparently some on the left think that the President can beat the congress into submission with his penis and make gay marriage legal overnight, but he just hasn’t done it because he is a poopyhead! A cautious politician! Oh noes! I have quiet a few beefs with the POTUS, including drones and gitmo, but I am still really happy that he is openly backing gay marriage. This is putting his ass on the line, since it will give the far right more ammo to use against him and a stick with which to stir up their hateful “base”. The left needs to put on it’s adult underwear and give the man some backing, because the alternative is a shitload worse.
Now, I am going to go have some amaretto in milk. It will simultaneously comfort me about the stupidity of my fellow Americans vis-à-vis amendment one, while helping me celebrate the presidential endorsement of equal human rights. At least amaretto in milk is a win-win.