I appreciate everyone who, here or on Facebook or on another site, gave me two thumbs up and a cheer. My sincerest gratitude to you all.
There were only two negative comments. One was over on Feministe. Although I disagree with Jill’s agreement with Wurtzel, I thought she made some germane points about whether or not all choices are feminist just because a woman made them. She is right, in that not all choices are feminist. Women have the agency to actively collude with the patriarchy, especially if they benefit from it. However, I still think Wurtzel is an asshat and wrong to assume becoming a wife and mother is axiomatically an anti-feminist choice, which I covered at length yesterday.
Moreover, Jill and other commenters brought up the vulnerability of SAHP. They are right. I am incredibly vulnerable. Society does not actually value my work, and I am screwed if Sweet Babou leaves me. My daughters and I would be plunged into poverty. My post-grad degrees aren’t exactly a great boon in terms of me being able to get a job earning even half of what my husband makes. The number of people who have a Ph.D degree and also need food stamps has skyrocketed. Wages are bottoming out and workers are being treated like shit. The reality of how fragile my life it scares me to death. Nevertheless, even if I were in the workforce, the problems with wages and unemployment would still be there. It’s not as thought I walked away from some fantastical high paying job to be a stay at home mom. Most women haven’t done that. A lot of times it is less expensive to stay home, because childcare would cost more than you would get paid. That is something else that the elitist twatwaffle Wurtzel doesn’t understand.
Anyway, someone thought that a comment I made on Feministe was “slut shaming.” I was pointing out the fallacy of the patriarchal capitalist value system, and said, “By that logic a porn star has way more sociocultural worth than someone who runs a no-kill animal shelter or who volunteers for the fire department.” I actually didn’t mean it as slut shaming. For one thing, I wasn’t assuming the porn star in question was a woman. I do believe male porn stars, in both hetero and homosexual videos, are a real thing in the universe. I was just looking for profession that makes relatively high wages and yet is not ascribe a great deal of social prestige or can be argued as a crucial linchpin for the socioeconomic infrastructure, and wanted to contrast it with one of the many valuable and important things people do for little money. Notwithstanding what I meant, I can see why she assumed I was slut shaming sex workers, so I’ll just let it slide.
The second negative comment was in the comments here on my blog, where someone going by the name Lisa said “If your husband is in the top 1% of the income bracket in the USA how did you get him to marry such a foul mouthed bitch? In the UK only footballers wives WAGS would come into that category and all they care about is shopping and shoes. None of them are feminists.”
I’m a foul mouthed bitch? Golly, I didn’t even use the word cuntmonkey.
As most of my readers know, Sweet Babou is not in the 1%, although we are in the top 20% and I am very grateful that we are able to have the middle-class life that all workers should be able to attain. Unlike some people who have made it to above-average income, we have not forgotten or lost empathy for those millions who are in poverty or struggling to keep just one paycheck out of it.
If Lisa is amazed by the fact I got married in spite of a being a potty-mouthed hell-beast (although I have seen just enough reality TV to think that there are plenty of foul mouthed bitches married to rich guys), she would be really shocked to know I am well into middle age and fat as a butterball to boot. Nor is my face all that pretty, either. I am the opposite of trophy wife material. I think Sweet Babou married me because he loved me, not my appearance. That, and the fact the man is batshit crazy.
So … is Lisa saying I should agree with Wurtzel because I am not good enough to be the wife of a well-off man? Honestly, I couldn’t quite figure out where she was trying to go with that. Does it make sense to someone else? I dislike enigmas of this kind. I like to give specifics when I tell someone to fuck off, and I don’t have them in this case.
The trolling isn’t that big a deal, but not being able to work out what the troll was trying to communicate is driving me bananas.