As I am sure you have been unable to wipe from your memory logs, last year I posted about penises stridulating and speculated that Klingon’s might could do it. I have decided to make animal penises the subject of my 4th of July posts from now on, because I am thoughtful like that. Moreover, the ‘founding fathers’ didn’t think women and/or black people were worthy of human rights and voting privileges, so I think “a bunch of dicks” is a fitting commemorative. This should cause the far-right Tea Baggers to lose their fragile grip, but I don’t believe in worshiping any group of people — not even the founding fathers — as infallible and above reproach, so they will have to learn to cope.
Anyway, today’s 4th of July gift is the Tasmanian Echidna Penis. It has four heads on it’s wally. Seriously, take a look:
Huh. That looks very odd. I am rapidly developing a new appreciation for the fact that the human male wields a now-spike-free mushroom.
I don’t think the word “penis” has enough gravitas for something so bizarre as the Tasmanian echidna’s junk. I think it should be renamed the Lernaean Hydra, which is the many-headed dragon/snake of Greek myth. That seems more fitting. Especially since the Lernaean Hydra’s mom was the Goddess Echidna. She was half woman and half snake and all trouble. The Greeks considered her the mother of all monsters, and the echidna is named for her. That is a handy-dandy tie-in, right there.
So, on this glorious holiday, take a moment during your consumption of hot dogs (if you can stomach them after this post) and beer to remember the mighty Lernaean Hydra of the Tasmanian echidna, and to spare some sympathy for his missus.
Hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July!