May I introduce you all to the newest animal on the block, the penis snake?
Actually, it is not a snake OR a penis, thank Sweet Baby Jesus. It’s actually a lungless amphibian from Brazil, that was only “discovered” in the twentieth century. This hideous wiener beast is really, really rare. In a strange way this makes me sad, because I would love to see them on sale as pets … just for the WTF value of it all.
This is clearly a ridiculous marine animal. *feel the pun; FEEL it*
They are not to be confused with the other animal often called a “penis fish” on the internet – that is actually the candiru, a type of small catfish that may or may not swim up your urethra if you are pissing into South American waters. There seem to be a lot of penis intensive animals in Brazil. I suspect it has something to do with the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, which causes woodies worldwide.
Aren’t you all so glad I share these things with you?