It’s stealthy. She is trying to give me a heart attack so no one will know it was a homicide. She is a clever, clever girl.
Yesterday I went to my daughter’s school to get Lilo and Stitch. There is a line you drive through and there is a teacher in charge and the principal helps out and it’s all very safe for the car-riders to be picked up. Well, when it’s my turn there is ONLY STITCH ready to get in the car. Stitch had worry-face because she didn’t know where her sister was either.
Needless to say, I immediately pulled into a parking spot and got out, Spock and Stitch in tow, to inquire as to the whereabouts of my eldest child.
By the time I walked up (13 seconds maybe) the principal was on the walky-talky with every teacher requesting information on Lilo stat. It came in about 5 seconds later that Lilo had gone to girl scouts, which is held in the school right after classes are over.
Now, I am fine as wine with Lilo being a girl scout; that wasn’t a problem. I am merely unhappy when I have no fokking clue she has gone to a meeting that I didn’t even know about. That’s the kind of thing that stresses me out just a tad.
The point is that for the roughly 20 seconds I didn’t know where Lilo was I felt like my intestines had turned into ice water and my spine had turned into an electric eel. There was nothing in my world but a dark and endless hell of fear that was getting ready to suck me in and destroy me. It. Was. Awful.
If she keeps scaring me like this it is going to cause me to have broken heart syndrome and I will be toast. She will then be able to get a stepmom whom she will bully and who will allow her to wear skanky clothes and date at 14. I know a plot when I see one.
I went to the girl scout meeting, explained to Lilo she had scared 10 years off my life, ascertained that she had no suitable snack available and that her blood sugar had dropped and she was on the edge of a meltdown, so I took her home with forms to fill out and promises that she could start next week and I would pack her and extra snack. Lilo was teary but brave about leaving and came home with no fuss.
All’s well that ends well. Except for the fact that my hands won’t stop shaking and now I have to go get my hair colored today because 4 inches of it turned white, that is. But other than that it’s all good.