I won’t let you slap me, but I have something metaphorical you can suck

Back in 1954 the federal government passed a law that basically said if an organization, like a church, has tax exempt status then they need to stick to charity because if they used their pulpits for politics then they would have have to pay taxes like any other political activist group. Today, this gives right-wing Holier-Than-Thou churches a sad. They want to be able to assure their parishioners that Obama is a Muslim Communist Marxist Fascist who loves abortions and eats sliced fetus on toast yet STILL get out of paying taxes as a political mouthpiece. 

Massive twatwaffle Rev. Steve Youngblood of City Church in Burlington, Iowa feels strongly that he should be allowed to have pamphlets in his church that explicitly urge congregants “to remove Justice David Wiggins, an Iowa judge who had voted to legalize same-sex marriage”. In fact he feels so strongly about this that when a woman pointed out his actions were illegal he was just barely able to contain his desire to “slap” her to make her shut her whore mouth. Imagine his patriarchal chagrin and rage that a mere woman should dare to contradict him and his kinda-sorta authority!

He was livid that a Christian was trying to love her neighbor as herself, and leave any potential judging to God, and assumed that even if she didn’t feel that way she had no right to enforce her religion on others. Who does that! He ranted that she better not call herself “a Christian and do that. We need to draw a line in the sand. We need to begin to say that at City Church this is how we’re going to be.” Moreover, what made him even “madder is that this person’s husband won’t correct them, … I don’t like rebellious women.” Although in fairness he did mention that he didn’t “like rebellious men, either. They’re even worse.” See? No sexism there! It’s just a God fearing pastor wanting to physically assault a woman for disagreeing with him and advising that it would be best if at least her husband punished the bitch. You know, just like in the Taliban!

Maybe he could tell the husband to move to an extremist Islamic theocracy so he could abuse his wife the way God intended? After all, that’s what the monumental asshat Pat Robertson recommended.

Like any other patriarchal dipshit facing backlash from people standing up to his misogyny, Youngblood feels persecuted. Don’t people understand that it is his right, as a MAN, to say violence is a good solution to women’s “rebellion”? Youngblood maintains that he is “not going to be bullied”. Clearly being thwarted in his attempts to bully other people counts as being bullied for this goat blower. Fascinating, captain. Youngblood also insists he is “not going to be intimidated”. Yeah, think about how bad it would be if you were threatened in order to assure compliance to another person’s demands! That would be awful! How dare someone do it to him! And by “do it to him” I mean “prevent him from doing it to others”. Using flimsy religious excuses to try to subjugate women and disenfranchise LGBTQ people is the only way this knuckle-dragging pustule can grab a slice of hegemonic patriarchal authority and by gum he’s not about to give that up without a fight!

As for the politics-in-churches thing, Youngblood insists that he is “not intentionally breaking the law”, apparently because no one has found words small enough to explain the fact that political pamphlets in a church IS a violation of the law. Maybe they should try puppets? Books with pictures? Or they could just slap him, since that is how dissent is handled in his world.  Of course, in his world slapping is probably reserved only for uppity women who challenge patriarchal paradigms. 

What a demented and pathetic asshat.

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About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
This entry was posted in Feminism, Jesus loves you but I think you are an asshat, poli-ticks, shit I think y'all should know. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to I won’t let you slap me, but I have something metaphorical you can suck

  1. LiquidInqueDrmr says:

    I REALLY hope this woman presses charges. Then he can bullied and learn submission in JAIL!

  2. I heard about this because Jon Stewart had a similar Twatwaffle on his show a week or so ago. They want the gov’t to step in and tell them they can’t and they’ll scream FIRST AMENDMENT! FIRST AMENDMENT! Yeah. I love it when the Constitution and Christianity are ALTERED to serve a Special Interest.

  3. Robin says:

    I vote she presses charges and fingers crossed they nail him for political crap in church.

  4. sheri says:

    Except they won’t. The whole “Pulpit Freedom Sunday” is disgusting and blatant, yet idiot Paul Ryan endangers the income of a Salvation Army soup kitchen by barging in there uninvited and unannounced with a million cameras for a darling heartwarming photo-op and never mind that he’s screwing a buncha homeless people out of food if they lose their donors because that’s what he’s planning to do anyway.
    There is seriously something wrong with this society.

  5. I’m going to say this again. I don’t understand why churches are tax free anyway. They seem to have plenty of money if the way they are building around here is any indication.
    In fact, here in KY, while state workers were working 4 day weeks to save the gov money, Gov Beshear gave a group a 43 million dollar tax break to build a Noah’s Arc Theme Park.
    Tax free charity work is one thing. Making a profit or endorsing a candidate should not be tax free.
    And, of course, if anyone needs slapping it’s misogynists, no matter what their faith or lack thereof.

    • Betty Fokker says:

      I know my church should definitely be tax exempt … our priest took yet another pay cut so we could keep the winter homeless shelter up and running at full strength. ‘Tis a good church. However, any mega-church that pours millions into a charismatic preacher’s pockets is just supporting Mammon and his servant Elmer Gantry as far as I am concerned. And yes, I agree that if they want to dance to a political tune (for ANY candidate) they should pay the IRS fiddler.

      • Robin says:

        The inequity (sp?) in churches annoys me. You get the the big fancy churches with lots of money floating around, and in the small parishes they are scrimping and scrounging to literally keep a roof on the church. The pay and housing is not equal either. The money should be shared all the way around within the faith. The small parishes are just as important as the large ones in the cities. (soapbox alert)

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