Just One More Thing …

Okay, I know y’all are really, really sick of hearing about cooties (*cough Karen cough*) but I have to share this one last little episode before I shut my cakehole.

I am suffering from Phantom Cooties – the phenomenon where every single time your head itches you run for the lice-comb and check yourself in a fairly hysterical manner only to find nothing. You do this a lot with Phantom Cooties. Not content to check my own head, I forced Sweet Babou to groom me like a chimp five times a day. He was less than pleased to be pulled into my personal game of Crazy Land, but he did it.

Until yesterday.

Apparently yesterday was when my poor husband had had quite enough of my silliness. Thus, the following exchange:

Me: Come check my head again! It itches! I have cooties!

SB: No, you don’t.

Me: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!

SB: Fine. *walks over resignedly*

He looked through my hair in a half-hearted fashion for a minute, but then he stiffened a little and started pulling at a couple of strands. My heart sped up. Then he made the “hmmmmm” sound of potential nits. My heart stopped. Then he broke the news to me.

SB: Love, I think I’ve found something.

Me: What?!!? What?!?!

SB: It’s …. a small bit of paranoia. It must have leaked out of your ear in your sleep.

Very funny, Sweet Babou. Hardy har har. Chortle. It is to laugh.

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About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
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7 Responses to Just One More Thing …

  1. Oh, I know your pain! My money-having friend paid someone to comb her kids out and take all the evidence away. It sounded like a delightful luxury.

    We had to treat it like 7 times. Every single friggin’ nit has to be located. It’s madness!

  2. Skye says:

    I think I love your husband.

  3. inkgrrl says:

    BWAHAHAHAHA. At the paranois-mocking Sweet Babou. The man is truly a treasure.

    No Bwahaha in any case or tense for nits and lice and such. Blech.

  4. Shudder. I’m with you in paranoia land when it comes to those bugs.

  5. Robin S. says:

    I, too, love your husband. We, too, occasionally get the Phantom Cooties when someone gets a tick. Or my son does if he finds a spider in his room. Takes a bit to work itself out.

  6. Humor. Har.
    We who share that paranoia salute you (and SB’s patience)

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