I went to a new psychiatrist yesterday. It went well.
We went over the basics and discussed my meds. She is on board with my desire to be “functional” rather than “normal”; I want to be able to do the things I need to do in order to be a helpful and productive member of my family and the human race, but I don’t need to be doped into a happy place. I can take a certain amount of crazy in my head – I just need it not to be a crippling kinda crazy.
As discussed previously, my anxiety attacks were not only detrimental to my life they also effected my ability to be a wife and mother, let alone write. Thus, anxiety was assigned a purple chill pill of no more freak outs, which appears to be working. That left my rampaging ADD to deal with. My ADD has lead to me backing into a closed garage door and other asinine things, and it was really impairing my ability to be a competent parent. The good doctor agreed that this was problematic. Thus, my ADD was going to have to meet Mr. Adderall.
We have started me out on the smallest most wee dose possible. The less medicine the better, I think. I have to take a hella lot of meds but I would like to keep the amount of each med down as low as it can go.
Apparently the tiny dose is popular, because last night became an insane game of Hide-and-go-Seek-the-Adderall. First, I went to my regular Marsh pharmacy, where the employees know me and ask about my kids/husband. Sadly, the pharmacy was fresh outta the bitty dose. They called the other Marsh pharmacy, which claimed to have the pills I needed, and off I traipsed across town to get the little buggers. When I got there the nice people did indeed have the generic version of the Adderall, but my skanky insurance company would only pay for the BRAND name Adderall. I do not know why. The pharmacy was out of the brand, so they called CVS which was back on the other side of town next to my regular Marsh pharmacy. The CVS swore that they did indeed have brand Adderall in the correct dose. Off I went to the CVS, wondering what the carbon footprint of these meds was going to be from all the driving. I assume not good.
When I got to the CVS they were ludicrously busy. They are always slammed and slow as a crock pot about getting things done. It’s why I go to Marsh. Anyway, I stood in line to drop off the prescription, presented my driver’s license, gave them another look-see at my insurance card, filled out some forms, signed some papers, but somehow avoided giving DNA samples or getting a body cavity search. It was then I was told that I should mosey own home like a good cowgirl and they would text me when the order was filled. By 11:00 PM there was still no text, so I went the Fokk to bed.
This morning, still no text. I resolved to go throw a fit and roll in it right after I dropped all the young’uns’ off at school. On my way to CVS they texted me to tell me the Adderall was ready. This saved someone a strip of their hide, which I would have otherwise chewed off.
Today was my first day taking the Adderall. I’m not seeing flying purple cows, so that’s a good thing. I’m a little drowsy (because I didn’t get enough sleep last night) which means I am not jacked up, and that is also a good thing. Now, we’ll see if it enables me to discern my ass from my elbow, as desired.
Wish me luck!