Pat the Tragic Asshat

Okay y’all. I have written a song about Pat Robertson commemorating his Ur-asshattery. If you sing these lyrics to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon it will all make sense, and hopefully mirth will ensue.

 

Pat, the tragic asshat spoke on TV

Where he frolicked in his own bullshit and eschewed all honesty

All the far-right pundits, they loved that rascal Pat

And repeated all the crap he’s said to make their wallets fat

 

Together with Rush Limbaugh, he spreads calumny and lies

Falsifying scholarship and pretending to be wise

Progressive politicians are slandered near and far

While feminists are hunted down with feathers and some tar

 

Oh!

 

Pat, the tragic asshat spoke on TV

Where he frolicked in his own bullshit and eschewed all honesty

All the far-right pundits, they loved that rascal Pat

And repeated all the crap he’s said to make their wallets fat

 

But times they are a ‘changing and moving forward still

His audience is ageing and youth bears him ill will

Pat’s viewership is shrinking, his audience is now wee

Thus Pat the tragic asshat is losing his relevancy

 

Pat’s head won’t bend in sorrow, he’ll not admit defeat

Narcissism keeps him safe from seeing he’s been beat  

Delusions of grandeur make him think God is on his team

When actually it’s Mammon that’s the basis of his dream  

 

Oh!

 

Pat, the tragic asshat spoke on TV

Where he frolicked in his own bullshit and eschewed all honesty

All the far-right pundits, they loved that rascal Pat

And repeated all the crap he’s said to make their wallets fat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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