I have a new term for my intense research epochs. I call it “Aspergering”. It’s when I get so focused on a quest for information, more information, and correct information that I lose track of other vital areas of my life … like cleaning and laundry.
My daughters are going to have to go commando soon if I don’t kick my ass into gear and start washing their tiny panties, then actually remember/be bothered to put them in the dryer before they become sour-smelling from languishing in the washer, and then take the damn things out and fold them. Or at least have them sitting around clean but piled haphazardly in laundry baskets. I can handle digging through clean laundry. That makes me feel only semi-inadequate as a mom.
To make matters worse, Lilo outgrew ALL her size seven pants this week. Now I have lots of clean folded jeans and khakis, but they are all stored away until Stitch grows into them. Moreover, Lilo is not quite a size eight, in that her trousers are a little baggy in the waist (not such a problem) and about an inch too long in the leg (hello cuffed look!). She looks … unkempt. This makes me feel like a bad mom even though it is totally not my fault. Then again, maybe “good” mothers out there sew clothes that are the perfect size. Know anyone who does that? Smack her for me. Thanks.
Furthermore, my kitchen looks like I recently fed an army of Cossacks and have yet to wash up after them. The most humiliating thing about that is that the kitchen isn’t even the most cluttered area of the house right now.
Cleaning. It must happen.
Right after I do just a little more research.
What will your kids remember about you? Let me think . . . . Mom loved and adored us and was fun and took care of us? Or damn she kept a nice house. I know which one I’m going for!
If I lived closer to you, I would come and tailor your entire family’s clothes so that they would always look kempt. However, it is my experience that children care less about being carefully coiffed and more about love and tumbling about. Do not worry or despair. And consider timers to remind you to move laundry about. If you’re lucky, you can time your bathroom breaks and laundry moves at the same time. I know. Dare to dream.
We all get side tracked at some point in time. And sometimes we just get fed up being the house slave while everyone else is sitting on their butts watching TV or playing on the computer. You don’t have to do a full load if you don’t want to. Just throw a few pairs in the bathroom sink for a soak. You’ll be forced to do something with them so you can use the sink. Then throw ‘em over the shower curtain rod to dry. Voila! Clean undies!
And if you think Lilo looks unkempt now, wait till she hits puberty and is growing through a size every other week practically. My son was the worst. I bought him no more than 2 of anything and only 1 pair of shoes at a time. And still, I would take him to the store and find out he’d shot past the next size already. Ugh! {{{HUGS}}} to you! Hope everything settles down!
Speaking from the experienced side with both kids now in their 20s.
I beat myself up for YEARS about not having the perfect house like THAT Mom. I was a lazy, lousy Mom and I did not always have the cleanest floors or all the laundry done or a sparkling bathroom….
But now, when my kids and I sit around at Christmas or when the 3 of us can get together, the stories they tell and fondly remember have NOTHING to do with how the house looked or how clean it was. They remember the birthday cakes that failed with fondness, the forts made of blankets with the whole living room torn apart, the time we made paper in the back yard and had paper mulch around the house for a whole summer and our “cool” paper drying on the deck, the movies we watched, the books (in every room of the hosue the way it SHOULD be) the cookies we baked and the time we made a cookie cookbook in the shape of a giant chocolate chip cookie (big sheets of brown wrapping paper cut in a large circle let them draw and colour the chips)
The Mom’s who had a perfect house? Her kids are now no beter or worse than mine. All that matters is how much you love them and listen to them. Jeez my daughter was KNOWN for wearing mis-matched socks , so she embraced it and did it deliberatly all through highschool. Since she is now persuing her PHD I don’t think it affected her too badly. (and she still dresses like a crazy bag lady…no offence to bag ladies)
Give yourself a break Fokker, you are an awesome MOM.
I don’t even have kids, and yet when I dig into a project it’s normal to have dirty dishes piled up on every surface of the kitchen until I have to wash some so I can eat, or until the smell gets too bad. The laundry piles up, too, the plants die for lack of water, and the dust, oh the dust and the dirty bathrooms! I also forget to eat, sleep and bathe, and spend most of my time in underwear or my birthday suit. The plus side is I get lots of praise and admiration for the quality of my work. It’s just part of being a bi-polar gal who loves her work. As soon as my income improves, I’ll be getting a helper one day a week to do the cleaning. A clean house is important to me, as it makes me feel better to be in a nice environment, and my clients come into the hosue, but my work is also important and must be my priority.
As for your girls, you are showing them that a woman/mom is valuable for her academic work, not just as a maid. That’s waaaaaaay more important than letting them think your worth is based on a clean house. Plus, soon they’ll be old enough to help around the house!
Seriously not a problem. NO ONE will grade you on the clean dishes or laundry. And if they do? They certainly can’t have a clue how freaking talented and wonderful and amazing you are.
Ask the girls for help. Set the timer as was suggested above, and when it goes off, have everyone head over to the machines. You hand the clean items to someone, she hands them to the next person, and then another darling pops them into the dryer. Easy, and it’s become an adventure, not a chore.
(Yes it takes longer, but they enjoy the participation, and lots of educational conversations can be had as this happens, like how smart was the guy who invented these cool machines so none of has to be down by the river pounding our bloomers against rocks anymore.)
Julie