My daughters are Girl Scouts

Some old oozing skin ulcer at my Mom’s church told Mom that she wasn’t going to buy any Girl Scout Cookies from Lil & Stitch because the Girl Scouts support gays.

I have several things I would like to say about that, starting with “Fuck you, you vile and ignorant twatwaffle.”

Apparently this simple, salt-of-the-earth dipshit woman has bought the bullshit the Far Right is slinging about the “corrupt” Girl Scouts and their “liberal agenda”. Do I even need to point out the garbage the Far Right is spewing is lies, lies, and hella lies? The Tea Baggers and their kindred have been so vocal in their condemnation of the those pro-gay, pro-abortion, sex-promoting Girl Scouts that the Girl Scouts have had to put out a fokking fact sheet to explain that they are not affiliated with any political party or Planned Parenthood. However, it is TRUE that they do not actively discriminate against gay people. That’s not just pro-gay to the Far Right, y’all. It is “lesbian indoctrination”.

Yesterday, I shared on Facebook (under my real name) an article by Amanda Marcotte that debunked some of these myths, including: “The biggest accusation routinely levied is that, at a U.N. conference on women and girls, a “graphic sex guide” was being distributed to girls in a “no adults allowed” meeting by the Girl Scouts. This, as I reported in 2011, did not happen, and no one who was there saw any such graphic sex guide.”

Seriously, Far Right taint-boils? 

I agree with Marcotte that, “It’s clear that what’s going on here is that these Christian-right activists have a pre-existing distaste for the Girl Scouts and their generic mission of empowering girls, and that these wild stories are nothing but an attempt to rationalize that feeling.”

Empowering girls isn’t churning out them “Godly Women”, obviously

It would be bad enough if it were just the lies and the cookie boycott based on a pack of lies. That’s plenty shitty. For this so-called Christian at my mom’s church to claim a superior form of Christian Servitude by picking on little girls is chafing my ass enough just fine. Does that ridiculous colon polyp not realize that she has just backhandedly accused me of putting my girls in Pimp Camp?

That’s not even the tip of the iceberg, though. Thanks to the Far Right propaganda about Girl Scouts, young girls are being verbally assaulted. Worse, some POS old white guy (Teabagger much?) pulled a FUCKING GUN on a Girl Scout selling cookies door to door.

I am not so much worried about the verbal stuff.  I am a big, redheaded feminist bitch with Asperger’s and if some dog ball licking skank yells at one of my Girl Scout daughters I won’t cry like a normal mom —I will rip his face off and shit in the hole. Bullies of this nature like to “win” and they count of the entrenched human aversion to social embarrassment (a lesson women in particular are taught) to keep the victim silent from the sheer shock of a verbal attack by a stranger. I, as an Aspy, give the merest soupcon of fucks about public norms and would make him wish he found a nice person to be such a thundertwat to because he would be lucky if he didn’t get his ass kicked as well as chewed off.

However, the idea someone would point a loaded gun at one of my babies gives me a cold sweat and makes me want to puke and start proactively gouging out Tea Bagger eyeballs. Sweet Babou and I both accompany the girls when they sell, should the need arise for him to call 911 while I disarm a man, shove the gun in his urethra, and empty the clip. 

So, for endangering the health and well-being of little girls, I would like to give a hardy middle finger to the American Taliban, AKA the Tea Baggers. Jesus may love you, but even He thinks you are a pack of asshats.

How do I know Jesus thinks you are asshats? Well, although Jesus never mentions homosexuality or abortion, both He and the Old Testament of the Bible are pretty clear on how God views people who bear false witness. You know, false witness bearing such as lying about the Girl Scouts.

My feeling about people who boycott Girl Scout Cookies

About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
This entry was posted in are you kidding me with this shit?, daughters, Feminism, life as I know it, motherhood, SCNa, shit I think y'all should know. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to My daughters are Girl Scouts

  1. Robin says:

    “I will rip his face off and shit in the hole.”

    “should the need arise for him to call 911 while I disarm a man, shove the gun in his urethra, and empty the clip.”

    You are sooooo my kinda mom!

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