Paula Muran, a picture is worth 1000 words

Last April, Paula Muran tweeted the bellow comment to a rape victim:

Paula Muran is an asshat

Clearly, she is mocking the victim, implying the victim should not “announce” she was raped (as though she should be ashamed of being raped), and de facto telling the victim to “get over it”. These are all hallmarks of victim blaming and the slut shaming of rape victims. Enraged, I posted about it on my own blog and on BlogHer. Her lawyers, according to WordPress, contacted WordPress to get the post removed and WordPress said “Nope. Fair play.” [I originally posted it was BlogHer; my error!!]

Panayiota Bertzikis was justifiably unhappy with Paula Muran and sent the Sedona Yoga Festival my post so that they would know Paula Muran was a rape-shamer.


This cause Paula Muran (I gather) to lose her invite to the festival and cost her money in some way. She was distraught, and cried out on Twitter:


I explained that no, I didn’t hate her. It is simply that I loathe slut/rape shaming. She replied:


Okay, if she was willing to admit she had done wrong and apologize for it she should be given the opportunity for redemption. I am not a vindictive monster; I am a righteous bitch. Different operating system entirely. Thus, this tweet dialog happened:


WTF? How could she not know whom she had victimized. She had visited the blog and left a comment (soon to be approved) so I KNOW she could have gotten the info. However, I gave her the benefit of the doubt since she was stressed:


Are you fokking kidding me? She is now doubling down and acting like she didn’t do anything wrong? She dared to speak for Panayiota Bertzikis and tell me that Panayiota Bertzikis wasn’t offended by the rape shaming??

Oh, but Paula Muran was not yet done putting her foot in her mouth (yoga increases flexibility). She then began to accuse me of being a liar and of slandering her:


First, the screen capture of HER OWN WORDS gives ample proof of my veracity. Secondly, if I had lied that isn’t slander; it is libel. Educate yourself Paula Muran.

I, naturally, point out the fact that I have evidence. I am not the only one who saw this flaw in her logic, or the fact that she was publicly calling me a liar and was thus committing actual defamation.


Paula Muran ignored this, and instead focused on attacking Panayiota Bertzikis. Paula Muran insisted she had never shamed anyone and claimed that Panayiota Bertzikis had said she was “proud” of being raped. I felt compelled to point out that “proud to have survived” is very, VERY different from being proud of being raped.


At this point, I felt that screen capture was the bestest friend I could ever have. Moreover, it will be a cold day in hell before I let some twatwaffle issue a “fauxpology” and platitudes on my blog. She just wants to get “out of trouble”. She CLEARLY cannot see that what she did was wrong and hurtful to both the individual rape victim and all survivors.

I suggest that if Paula Muran not want to be accused of tossing cosmic salad, that she stop tongue-wagging like an asshole.

Posted in are you kidding me with this shit?, Feminism, Fokker blog post on BlogHer, irony set on "stun", life as I know it, rape culture, shit I think y'all should know, slut shaming, victim blaming | 6 Comments

The Flop Has Flipped

Many of you have been following, with concern, my battle to help my autistic niece Gozer and deal with her mother Taintface. Well, I have good news and good news that infuriates only me but with help Gozer so I am dealing.

First, now BabyBro and his wife Taintface are admitting Gozer has autism, which is quite the improvement. This is, of course, a vast improvement over the bullshit they had been spewing.  Secondly, Taintface and BabyBro are rewriting history so that the worry the Gozer was on the autism spectrum has been Taintface’s fear all along.

Ah, but how am I left to be the villain of the piece then? Simple. The fight over Gozer and Taintface’s original attack on me has been erased and now the entire “fight” has been over the fact that I implied (without provocation and just because I am a big ol’ meanie) that BabyBro and Taintface are piss-poor parents.

My word. Not since people in Louisiana started blaming the response to Hurricane Katrina on President Obama have I been so painfully amused by willful ignorance and historical alteration.

What has caused the popping sound of their heads coming out of their assholes and this desperate revisionism, you ask? The fact that Gozer has to be kept at a separate desk and is constantly in trouble for throwing things and disruptive behavior in school has made it obvious the fact SOMETHING is up cannot be hidden. Thus, Taintface and BabyBro are willing to admit Gozer is on the spectrum, lest people think her actions are the result of their piss-poor parenting.

The current report and evaluation on Gozer simply will not do, however. Apparently Taintface and BabyBro are very concerned that it makes them look bad. They have plans to have Gozer re-evaluated by another specialist, whom they can lie to about things – like how Taintface’s continued smoking during pregnancy, Gozer’s induced delivery, and their frequent extended absences from her life, as examples — and therefore get the diagnosis but not look quite so shitty in the report.

I just keep taking deep[ breaths and reminding myself that as long as Gozer is getting the help she needs in school then everything else is immaterial.

However, here on my own blog surrounded by Fokkerites, can I admit to secret eye-popping rage, tho?

Posted in are you kidding me with this shit?, Asperger's and Autism Spectrum, irony set on "stun", life as I know it | 4 Comments

The Star-Strangled Banner

America was once the envy of the world. Now, it’s citizens have got socioeconomic inequalities comparable to places like Chile and South Africa.


Because the ultra-rich and corporations don’t pay their fair share of taxes anymore. Moreover, it all started with the bullshit selfishness of  John Birch numbnuts and the Baby Boom Yuppies of the 80s who got theirs and didn’t give a half-eaten rat’s ass if anyone else got some too.  Now, we are in the same shithole of haves v/s have-nots as China:

“The turning point for both [China and the USA], launching them into ever rising inequality, took place at almost the same time: late 1970s and early 1980s. With the election of Ronald Reagan to the U.S. presidency and the policies of high real interest rates and lower taxes on “unearned” (capital) income, income inequality in the United States jumped and then kept on rising throughout the 1980s and the 1990s, before eventually plateauing at a very high level in the naughts. The overall outcome was that, measured by the Gini coefficient, U.S. inequality went from around 35 to 45 Gini points—that is, from a mid-range OECD inequality level to an OECD outlier surpassed only by Mexico and Turkey.

I would like to thank Regan Republicans & Reganomics and the Gutless Mewling Democrats who went along with the bullshit for the destruction of my country in my lifetime. Thanks guys. We took a hard right … off a cliff.

Under Eisenhower and even Nixon rich paid their taxes and the nation thrived, but under the new breed of Republicans and the Democrats Who Are Just Like Them the nation has been on a steady downhill slide. Thanks to the The Right Wingers and the Spineless “Left” [i.e. moderate right wingers] our once great schools and cities have bitten the big one.

“America has the most billionaires in the world, but not a single U.S. city ranks among the world’s most livable cities. Not a single U.S. airport is among the top 100 airports in the world. Our bridges, road and rail are falling apart, and our middle class is being guttered out thanks to three decades of stagnant wages, while the top 1 percent enjoys 95 percent of all economic gains. A rigged tax code and a bloated military budget are starving the federal and state governments of the revenue it needs to invest in infrastructure, which means today America looks increasingly like a second rate nation, and now new data shows America’s intellectual resources are also in decline …  For the past three decades, the Republican Party has waged a dangerous assault on the very idea of public education. Tax cuts for the rich have been balanced with spending cuts to education. During the New Deal era of the 1940s to 1970s, public schools were the great leveler of America. They were our great achievement. It was universal education for all, but today it’s education for those fortunate enough to be born into wealthy families or live in wealthy school districts. The right’s strategy of defunding public education leaves parents with the option of sending their kids to a for-profit school or a theological school that teaches kids our ancestors kept dinosaurs as pets. “What kind of future society the defectors from the public school rolls envision I cannot say. However, having spent some time in the Democratic Republic of Congo—a war-torn hellhole with one of those much coveted limited central governments, and, not coincidentally, a country in which fewer than half the school-age population goes to public school—I can say with certainty that I don’t want to live there,” writes Chuck Thompson in Better off Without Em.”

Jesus wept and Mammon laughed.

I am bitter about the fact my country was destroyed from within by the greedy. I am even more bitter that millions will continue to vote for Republican Thugs (instead of Mealy-Mouthed Moderates like I am forced to do) because they would rather out country crumble than see it become a land where gays can marry one another and women get equal pay.

*stomps away snarling*

Posted in are you kidding me with this shit?, I've been thinking too much, irony set on "stun", Mammon, poli-ticks, shit I think y'all should know | Leave a comment

The Tudor Society

Those who know me IRL know that I am a nonfiction history author. It isn’t quite as cool as being Betty Fokker, but I dig it.  As a real grown-up, I have become a contributor for a new website called The Tudor Society and thus I am pimping it out.

It is “an exclusive membership club for all those who love Tudor history and who want to keep learning more and more … lots of historians and authors want to be involved in this new society, and they are willing to give their time and knowledge to members of the Tudor Society, through magazine articles and talks.”

The Tudor Society has a small monthly/yearly fee, but for a few of your bucks/quids it:

  • Gives you the chance to learn from Tudor history experts in the comfort of your own home, wherever you are in the world and without having to worry about time zone differences
  • Puts experts in your reach so you can ask your own questions
  • Gives you a wide range of Tudor authorities through the monthly digital magazine, forum, chatroom and monthly expert talks
  • Is targeted specifically at the Tudor period
  • Gives you many ways to learn and interact – listen, read, chat and share
  • Offers monthly live online chats with experts
  • Helps you find the primary sources and books you need
  • Enables you to become quickly absorbed in the 15th and 16th centuries
  • Is fun – you can enjoy quizzes, giveaways and chats
  • Helps you get to know other Tudor history lovers

I’ll have articles in the monthly magazine and do web-talks and all that stuff, so it will definitely be worth your while. Smile

Hope to see you there!

Posted in I like this, dammit., life as I know it | Leave a comment

The Great Clothes Switch-Out, Fall 2014

Pity me, y’all. I am sunk deep into a first world problem. Every 6 months I have to take down the tubs of daughter-clothes from the attic and swap one set for the other in the new size. Moreover, the clothes of the past season must be carefully sorted and preserved in tubs with mothballs so that they can pass down to the next sister. The only thing I can give away to charity are the clothes Baby Spock has outgrown and since she is the size of a dried pea, that is precious little.

Lilo is no long the recipient of multitudes of hand-me-downs from cousins, because the cousins are getting to the age where 1) they have either stopped growing and will be keeping their jeans again this year or 2) wear the clothes into rags before they are outgrown and can be passed down. However, Lilo has grown out of her size tens and into size twelves and I had to go buy jeans. After years of benefiting from the hand-me-down machine, I wept.

Stitch is in the middle of largess, still benefiting from the size 8/9 passed down via her sister from multitudes of girl cousins. Yay. Now, would someone please come fold/hang all these garments that must be double checked as to size?

Spock is awash in size 5 fall/winter clothes, being at the end of the hand-me-down chain. They are all cute clothes with little wear to them because kids outgrown them so fast. That’s great. Again with the sort/fold/hang thing.

Not to mention the fact I must clean out the dressers and closets and do every bit of laundry so that the to-be-stored clothes are clean and ready for storage. Fun times.

Oh, and I have to do the adult clothes and the linens, too. We have VERY limited closet space (the house was built in 1968) and thus many things have to be stored in the attic until they are needed. Again, fun times.

Guess what I am not doing while I sort/pile/clean/fold/hang/store clothes? That’s right! I am not writing on all the myriad things I need/want to be writing! I just love it when housekeeping prevents me from writing! It’s almost as good as getting an eyelid caught on a nail!

Woe unto my privileged ass. People with real problems are going to read this and sneer.

I don’t care. Imma meep and whinge for minions anyway. So there.

Posted in daughters, life as I know it, motherhood | 7 Comments

Lunch Envy

OMG I want America to immediately adopt some of the things done by the French school system — particularly food and exercise.

Have you SEEN the school lunches French kids get? Not only is the food made fresh right there at the school, the:

“fruits, vegetables, fish and meat are sourced locally, some of them from local farms,” according to Dany Cahuzac, the city counselor in charge of school matters, including the [lunchroom]. The local bakery delivers bread, a staple of every French meal, fresh every morning. And every two days, there is at least one organic item on the menu. Once a month, an entirely organic meal is served. The only drink offered at lunchtime is filtered tap water, served in glass pitchers …  As the children come streaming into the [lunchroom], they sit down at tables of four that are already set and wait for older student volunteers to bring the first course to their table. The child who sits at the designated “red” chair is the only one who is allowed to get up to fetch more water in the pitcher, extra bread for the bread basket, or to ask for extra food for the table. After finishing the first course (often a salad), volunteers bring the main course platter to the table and the children serve themselves. A cheese course follows (often a yogurt or small piece of Camembert, for example), and then dessert (more often than not, fresh fruit).  “We do our best to vary our menus throughout the weeks and months, but sometimes children don’t like certain foods,” explains Cahuzac. “We ask children to at least to taste everything and have a few bites before they give up on a food they don’t like.” “Eating a balanced meal while sitting down calmly is important in the development of a healthy child,” adds Cahuzac. “It helps them to digest food properly, avoid stomachaches and avoid sapped energy levels in the afternoon.”

My kids get a 20 minute daily recess and a 30 minute gym class twice a week at their school. What do French kids their age get? Hint: more time for fun.

“elementary-aged students throughout the country have three set recess periods during the day: a 15-minute run-around in the morning, a 60-minute recess after lunch, and another 15-minute break in the afternoon” and “Aside from two hour long periods of gym during the week, kids often walk during school outings and field trips (which can include anything from an hour to the local library, a visit to local farms, to the lakeside for paddleboard lessons, or a hike up a local mountain). Walking is emphasized in even younger ages — indeed 3- and 4-year-olds in preschool will walk up to 2 kilometers in an afternoon to go visit the local library. Sometimes they walk to the local retirement home to sing songs for the elderly.”

WTF? No wonder the obesity rates for French children are some of the lowest in the world.

Good food is important. Good food helps kids learn. Recess is important. Recess helps kids learn.

Let’s get some good food and recess up in our schools, STAT.

Posted in daughters, health, I've been thinking too much, motherhood, shit I think y'all should know | 5 Comments

Sorcha’s Doing Well

Good news about Sorcha, for those who have been following her travails on this blog!

Sorcha has just purchased a home of her own. Her accountancy business is thriving. (it should be; she’s working her ass off.)  She has even created a niche market for herself helping facilitate hemp production via keeping her clients appraised of all the regulations. Her children are all well and happy. Prisspot had the audacity to make a pass at her and she had the satisfaction of slamming the lid down on that particular toilet.  She continues to crush all opponents in Words With Friends.

All is well.

That makes me happy.

Posted in I like this, dammit., life as I know it | 2 Comments