By now, most of us know that high fructose corn syrup is of the devil. Not only does it make you gain a lot more weight than sugar does, it shits all over your health in general in a way sugar can only hope to achieve. It is also dependent on corn subsidies to remain cheap and helps trash the environment. The only thing going for it is that I can’t find any ties between it a child slave labor.
Enter the nightmare that is palm oil. Palm oil was supposed to replace those dreaded trans-fats with a healthier saturated fat, but it turns out that palm oil is just as bad. Not only does it clog up your arteries like dog hair in a drain, it makes the environmental damage of corn look positively benign. Huge multinational corporations (if they are people, can we hang the fuckers?) like Wilmar International, which is mostly owned by Archer Daniels Midland (ADM) and supplies major multinationals like Cargill, Unilever, Procter & Gamble, and Nestlé with it’s palm oil, are cutting down Indonesian rain forests to make palm plantations. In fact, 98% of Indonesian rain forests may be gone in the next 15 years. Not only are endangered species disappearing with those forests, they are turning carbon-absorbing forests into carbon emitting disaster areas.
But makes palm oil so startlingly bad is the fact companies like Wilmar International are getting busted using child slave labor and stealing indigenous peoples’ lands. ADM, the company that owns the most stock in Wilmar, has already been reveled to be a repeated user of child slave labor, especially for it’s chocolate.
This is why I try to only buy Jamieson’s chocolate.
Anyway, I had a quick look in my cupboard and I am now horrified. My natural Jif peanut butter? Palm oil. The ‘unnatural’ Jif doesn’t have palm oil, so I’ll be sticking with that from now on. The good news is that my Zesta whole wheat crackers are palm oil free. But palm oil is commonly found in a slew of other stuff, including my Oil of Olay moisturizer. So I can fight wrinkles while at the same time ruining the planet and abusing children. Oh, joy.
I am especially screwed this Halloween, since most candies by both Mars and Nestle contain palm oil. (Nestle is a concentrated bowl of pus, anyway.) They act like their palm oil is okay, because they are members of the Roundtable on Sustainable Palm Oil (RSPO), but that is just bullshit greenwash since the RSPO does diddly-squat to actually HELP the problem. The RSPO just allows itself to slap a false “sustainable” label on it’s packaging to trick consumers. Moreover, they have tricked zoos, who add those candies to the lists of “good” candies for endangered species. Now we know where the real tricks are coming from this Halloween, don’t we?
I really don’t want to be one of those asshats who passes out raisins. I hated those people when I was a kid. Fortunately, Hersey’s Kisses and their plain milk chocolate bars seem to be palm oil free, so I have something sweet to throw in the bag.
You know the irony? Hersey’s milk chocolate has high fructose corn syrup in it, and they won’t tell who they get their cocoa from.