A Merkin Booty

Y’all, I find something new every day. My most recent discovery is the “merkin”, or pubic wig. As in a wig for your privates.


Hollywood uses these a lot, apparently. Both men and women use them during sex scenes to make sure none of their real naughty bits show up or get stuck together. Women use them when they are doing a nude scene from the “pre-landing-strip era”, when women actually had bush, not sparse foliage, and they need a little more fur in the fur burger area. You can see some of the more famous movie merkins here, but it is NSFW.

These things are, in a strange way, tempting. I have, thanks to some rogue Native American genes, very little body hair. I’ve always felt a bit sad about the scanty in my panty. I opted for the “bald look” not out of kink, but because things were already Captain Picard down there; might as well go Kojack. So there is a niggling urge to get a merkin, just to see how I would look with luxurious locks. Or perhaps a merkin with stripes or something, just to surprise Sweet Babou some night. Maybe a merkin that looks like a sheep’s face, since he likes to wear a kilt and you know all about sheep and Scotsmen.

Maybe I’ll go all meta and get a merkin that mimics vajazzling.

You just never know with the Fokker.

About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
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8 Responses to A Merkin Booty

  1. Skye says:

    “scanty in my panty”: You crack me up, Fokker! My Native American genes gave me a skip regarding hair: I have more leg hair than my dad did! So it’s either the Welsh or the Norwegians, all tricksy sorts. :)

    If you get a vajazzled merkin, I want pics.

  2. Nan says:

    OMG! I can’t believe you’ve discovered merkins! They’ve been a running joke here among the engineers for years! I had to have Husband explain it to me one night when he and son were making merkin jokes. You are a hoot, Fokker–I’m all Irish, but I’m also pretty scanty in the panty…not sure why since no one else in my family is…hmmmm…

  3. Robin S. says:

    OMG, just OMG. (head to table) So glad I had already swallowed my tea.

  4. lunarmom says:

    LOL!!! Seriously (or ya know, NOT), where the hell are we supposed to go with this?!

  5. MaineBetty says:

    I’m glad I read this. I believe that it has added to the quality of my life experience.
    I can sit in a meeting and repeat to myself, scanty in the panty, scanty in the panty…

  6. Selina says:

    I find it hilarious how its become the fashion to take it all off and then have to wear a wig for a film. I personally don’t like that look at all, reminds me of a plucked chicken. Unfortunatly for me, I have rather expansive bush that nobody appreciates so I have to trim it quite a bit. I once read that the Romanov Tsarina had a collection of those to enhance her love life. Can’t imagine how according to modern taste :P

  7. I shave b/c I do not believe one should be THAT hairy (men or women). Keep it trim, please. Now,all joking aside, I need one of these for a period piece film. Where would I actually be able to purchase one? Any ideas?

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