RIP Ms. Houston

I first heard of Whitney Houston when I was in 8th grade. She exploded onto the pop music scene with “How Will I Know” and I adored her.  But in high school my favorite song of hers in was “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”.

I would “sing” along with it in my room, happy for a moment to pretend that beautiful voice was mine. I remember vividly dancing to it during the the sophomore homecoming dance. I still want to dance when I hear it. She did other, better, more serious songs. “I Will Always Love you” blew the radio away when I was in college. But the first one I loved was “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”. And I think of it when I think of her.

I always blamed Bobby Brown for her fall. I thought (probably unfairly) he got her hooked on drugs and I know I was disgusted when he crashed his car with some stripper he had picked up in it. How could he cheat on such a beautiful woman? I was young enough that I didn’t understand that cheating is mostly about the person who is having the affairs, not the person being cheated on.  And when he was charged with domestic battery I was stunned … did he hate her because she was so much more talented and successful than he was?

Now he claims he is “beside himself with grief”. He probably is, since you can love someone and be horrible to them at the same time. But I don’t really feel sorry for him because I think he dragged her down to make himself feel better about his own meager abilities.

I am saddened by her loss. She has an 18 year old daughter who is in agony. She has a mother who must be in a hellish nightmare right now. She had lots of people who knew her and loved her. I only knew her through her talent, but it is enough to feel her loss on a personal level. 

My prayers are with her family and loved ones at this time.

About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
This entry was posted in I've been thinking too much, shit I think y'all should know. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to RIP Ms. Houston

  1. sharon says:

    Of course, it would be easy to blame Bobby Brown for all the problems in Houston’s life, but I disagree. We all know that you can’t change another person-if they are an alcoholic or a drug addict, we can NOT make them give those things up-they MUST do it themselves. Bobby Brown could not MAKE Whitney take drugs and drink-not unless he tied her down and injected her or pored the alcohol down her throat! She was also smoking-this has to be death to a singer’s ability. There are many places she could have gone to for help-women’s shelters, drug rehabilitaion, even the church she was raised in.

    I feel a major problem was her growing older-some people can handle the aging process and others can not. Her popularity was eroded by new singers with new fan bases. Her singing voice was gone because of her lifestyle of drinking and smoking. She could have and should have found a new niche for herself-even Julie Andrews admitted that she can not sing like she once did but enjoys entertaining in other ways. And I agree that Bobby Brown was “poisonous” to her-what kept her with him?

    • Betty Fokker says:

      I know, intellectually, that she destroyed herself … but I cannot help but see Brown as a key component of that destruction, and blame him for it. It’s probably the fact that there was never press about her losing her shit before she married him, and I never forgave him for his domestic assault. It’s not “reality” to blame him … but in my heart, I blame him anyway.

      I admit it is irrational, tho.

  2. Robin S. says:

    I hadn’t watched the news this weekend, so this was a surprise. And it is also so, so sad.

  3. this is exactly how i feel.

    i got the tape of I wanna dance with somebody on the valentine’s day when i was eight and i remember adoring it and thinking she was so pretty and fun. i loved the bodyguard and i too think that the bobby brown relationship was destructive and i was horrified when i read that he beat her and spat in her face in front of their daughter. my heart goes out to that daughter and to whitney houston’s mama as well. how terrible.

  4. As someone who grew up in an abusive home, it’s not easy to just “leave” the situation, especially when you love them. I’ve watched friends in abusive relationships (as Betty posted about earlier this year too) who couldn’t leave even though they wanted to. While Whitney chose to do drugs and live with dangerous vices (which Bobby helped her dive into), she was also a victim of domestic abuse and may have been using those vices to escape him the only way she could. People in those situations are often not making sane choices as they are constantly stuck in the fight or flight zone. I put 90% of the blame on Bobby as well as his abuse is ultimately what destroyed her.

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