I suspected as much

Yet another study has shown, to no one’s surprise I am sure, that raging homophobes are so hate-full because they suppressing their own secret or subconscious yearnings for a little same sex lovin’. Apparently:

“Individuals who identify as straight but in psychological tests show a strong attraction to the same sex may be threatened by gays and lesbians because homosexuals remind them of similar tendencies within themselves,” explains Netta Weinstein, a lecturer at the University of Essex and the study’s lead author.

This makes a great deal of sense to me. I’ve never had a ‘fear’ of gay people, even back when I was a stupid teenager who believed people when they told me it was “wrong”. If there was a parade of hawt women totally doing it in front of me, I would still be more interested in boning guys. I’ve had an opportunity, or two, when I was younger to wade in bisexual waters if I were that way inclined, but the urge just didn’t move me. I’ve had lesbian roommates. I have bisexual friends. Yet, here I am, still straight. Thus, I have always regarded the hysterical threat of people, especially kids, being “indoctrinated” into the homosexual lifestyle to be just so much bullshit. 

However, what if I were a little higher on the Kinsey scale? What if I were bicurious, bisexual, or homosexual but really trying hard to ignore it and hoping if I just kept humping my spouse everything would be okay? Would I then fear they could easily “lure” me over to “their side”? How could the LGBT bait-squad do that, if there weren’t already a pre-existing temptation?  And how weak-ass is it to blame someone else for the fact you experienced sexual arousal? Take responsibility for your own body, why don’t you?

That do put a different spin on that asshat Rick Santorum’s obsession with gay sex, do it not?

But where did Santorum learn that hate-the-gays-because-I-want-to-do-them lesson, which is so ingrained into him that it is now part of his cellular structure? Was it just the socio-cultural messages of gay ‘deviance’? That helped, no doubt, but it turns out that homophobia is best learned from those tin-pot household dictators, super-strict parents.

It seems that the reason homophobes loathe the gay-ish aspect of themselves, and thus project the hate onto the people who cannot be straight enough to fake culturally approved heteronormalcy, is that their authoritarian parents instilled in them a deep fear of any homosexual tendencies by  promoting the viewpoint that LGBT folks were sick people who indulged in evil and immoral sexual practices. Homophobes want queer people to remain hidden, even persecuted, so they won’t be tempted to join in the gay community’s sinful debauchery, because they learned at a stern parent’s knee that this was one of the WORST thing they could do. 

Authoritarian parenting, which is a totalitarian or Stalinesque approach to child rearing that I eschew, has a lot of negative consequences. Kids raised by super-strict parents are more likely to be delinquents, and more likely to start having sex at a younger age. Permissive parenting doesn’t thrill me, either, since the kids tend to be too self-centered, which chafes my nerves. There is a reason I strive to achieve an authoritative style of parenting, mixed with attachment parenting. In theory, it’ll fokk my kids up less.  Which is not to say I don’t make lots of parenting mistakes. I am sure I do. I am sure I will.

But at least no child of mine need fear confiding their sexual orientation to me. They will know Mommy and Daddy will always love the hell outta them no matter what.

Too bad Santorum didn’t get the same message.

About Betty Fokker

I'm a stay-at-home feminist mom.
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4 Responses to I suspected as much

  1. lol I’ve said, as a joke mind you, that my kids have always told me way too much about their sex lives. I tried to operate somewhere in the land between dictator and I-don’t-care-what-you-do parenting. And I tried to be engaged. More and more today you see parents who actually examine how to parent well and are engaged. It bodes well for the future, I think.
    As for the Santorums of the world – he’ll no doubt lose control and be caught in a major scandal one day.

  2. auntcarrot says:

    I wonder if it’s not broader than repressed homosexual urges and more about any urges the homophobe has been taught are deviant. (Which could, let’s face it, be anything sexual at all in some cases.) So that openly homosexual people would seem to celebrate a supposedly deviant behavior when the homophobe is repressing the hell out of his/her own supposedly deviant urges. The celebration could be a temptation to relax repression and a bitter reminder of what the hater denies him/herself.

    (That made sense in my head. My apologies if it doesn’t make sense in WordPress. :D)

  3. Robin says:

    These people should just get off this topic. You are what you are. Same sex interest has been around since time began. Even animals do it. There are more important things to be worrying about than who sleeps with whom.

  4. lunarmom says:

    This is the second time in a day that I’ve heard of Attachment Parenting. (I LOVE their “value the baby’s cries” theory!) Interesting. And yeah, I hope I’m some place in the middle, but I have no idea. I went on instinct, and pretty much still do.

    Oh right, the homophobe idiot thing. Yep, I figured so as well.

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