Baron Münchhausen (Karl Friedrich Hieronymus Freiherr von Münchhausen, 1720–1797), was a German nobleman who was completely full of malarkey. Rudolf Raspe put the Tall Tales of the Teutonic Twat all together in a book he titled The Surprising Adventures of Baron Münchhausen. The book was a big hit and when Dr. , Richard Asher recognized a mental illness involving the patient’s grandiose and fictitious medical ailments that they used to get attention and control others, he named it after the Baron. Thus it was that Munchausen’s Syndrome came into being via The Lancet in February 1951.
Munchausen’s syndrome is a pain in the ass to deal with, inasmuch as “the affected person exaggerates or creates symptoms of illnesses in themselves to gain examination, treatment, attention, sympathy, and/or comfort from medical personnel. In some extreme cases, people suffering from Munchausen’s syndrome are highly knowledgeable about the practice of medicine and are able to produce symptoms that result in lengthy and costly medical analysis, prolonged hospital stay and unnecessary operations. The role of “patient” is a familiar and comforting one, and it fills a psychological need in people with this syndrome. This disorder is distinct from hypochondriasis and other somatoform disorders in that those with the latter do not intentionally produce their somatic symptoms.”
I would bet my left boob that Taintface, the asshat and bane of my existence, has Munchausen’s syndrome.
Last Friday, Taintface quizzed my dad on the signs and symptoms of placental abruption. That Sunday, she mysteriously came down with all the signs and symptoms of placental abruption. Mom and Dad had to come get Gozer and Gamer so that BabyBro could rush Taintface to the ER. After a battery of tests, Taintface was diagnosed with round ligament pain. You know what round ligament pain is? Ouchies in your pelvis. I had it while pregnant. Just about every gravid woman on earth has had it. This is her THIRD pregnancy and she knows damn good and well what round ligament pain feels like. In short, my hyena’s anus of a SIL caused undue worry (because WHAT IF this time she isn’t making crap up to get attention) for my parents and scared BabyBro to bits because she is crazy as a shithouse rat.
Taintface is doubtlessly happy. She was the center of attention. She forced my parents to act ‘nice’ to her. Good ol’ Baron Munchausen came through.
My parents are extra disgusted because of the implied stupidity on their part. Why couldn’t Taintface at least have had the decency to Google it and then fake it? Why ask my Dad? Did she really think they wouldn’t put two and two together???
According to Wikipedia, things that can lead to “Munchausen syndrome include childhood traumas, growing up with parents/caretakers who were emotionally unavailable due to illness or emotional problems, a serious illness as a child, failed aspirations to work in the medical field, personality disorders, and a low self-esteem. Munchausen syndrome is more common in men and seen in young or middle-aged adults. Those with a history of working in healthcare are also at greater risk of developing it.”
Except for the fact that Taintface is some form of womanish creature, the risk factors fit her like a tailor-made glove. Her childhood was so heinous that I felt sorry for her for years. I explained it all to my Mom – including asking her to be merciful and tolerant of it – a few years ago when Taintface got a liver biopsy for irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). She haunted hospitals and got referrals to teaching hospitals to by doctors attempting to find the source of her ailment. She was so woe-is-me that that wound up testing her for every damn thing under the sun. You know what they found? Probable irritable bowel syndrome. If she was sick at all it is with IBS. She drove the medicos to organ biopsy just for IBS.
She’s got some form of BS all right. Also a raging case of WTF.